But no one to call on it.
You have the manicured nails
But no one to hold hands with.
You have the vanilla lip gloss
But no one to kiss
You have the new pair of heels
But no where to go out in them
You have the perfect song
But no one with sing along with
You have a broken heart
But no one to kiss the tears away.
no she can't be gone.
I still need her.
Why was she taken away from me.
I wonder what she was thinking about when she passed.
I hope she wasn't scared.
There are so many unfinished things.
But the guilt is the worst.
End up regretting every fight,
every mean thought,
But things aren't getting better.
Landlord wants us out,
It's tough and I want out so badly.
Instead of sitting here alone I feel like she should be right here on the couch with me,
watching movies and talking.
I miss the talking the most..
I've got too many worries for a 17 year old.
Lets hope by 18 I'm not having a heart attack.
Of course the house is crazy.
We really have no money except me.
But that's going to change soon because business is slow and I don't think they'll be needing me anymore.
I'm going to Naples for a week.
I leave Saturday and come back the following Saturday.
I'm staying with Jenna who I haven't seen since my mom's funeral.
I can't wait. I miss her so much.
And the following week Isabel said we might be going to Seattle to visit my Uncle.
But I highly doubt that is going to happen...but we'll see.
We went to a show last week.
It was awesome.
It was at a crusty smoky pub.
The crowd was intense for Jacuzzi Boys.
I loved every moment of it.
I wanna bike every bridge.
I wanna scream at every show.
I wanna dance like no ones watching.
I wanna live like a nomad.
I wanna feel love so strong, it hurts.
I wanna swim with a whale.
I wanna kiss on a balcony in Paris.
I wanna feel the Earth spin.
I wanna see the darkest dark.
I wanna see the brightest light.
I don't really like how everyone is "keeping an eye on me". Making sure I'm "okay". Whatever. It's easy to trick them. I like the times right before I go to bed when I'm just listening to music, and it's a Friday night, and I don't have to wake up early the next day. All I have to do is relax and listen to music. Or the times I'm walking in the Grove before getting picked up. And I'm just sitting outside the bookstore alone. Reading or listening to music.
I went to New York City for about 4 days. I swear to god I almost cried the day we had to leave. Worst plane flight home. ha. Wish mom could have been there. It was bitter sweet. The streets, the smells, the energy, the everything about New York City. It's what I want.
Almost done with school. It's so hard to believe. I am not ready to be a senior. I have no idea what the rest of my life will be. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I wanna feel again though. And not pain. I wanna feel things I've never felt before. I wanna know what a real rush is.
Soon hopefully, soon.
Some were from my mom when I was in Lake Placid with my dad.
Telling me to bundle up cause it was in the 40s in Orlando.
And telling me to Have Fun.
Another one was from a few weeks ago,
telling me to call when I was ready to be picked up.